Friday, September 23, 2011

Who's Movin' and Groovin'?

The baby is.

I certainly am not; I don't have the agility to move and groove these days. I have a hard enough time trying to walk in a straight line, but dear Baby Boy G sure likes to kick and punch and roll around. I told Joe the other night that his rolling feels like spiders crawling inside my uterine hotel. I know - not the most whimsical description - but it is the most accurate! It didn't always feel like a spider crawl but at this point, with his current size and pattern of movements, that is the best description to equate it to. I'm happy to tell him to crawl on! I have no idea if this is a harbinger of how he will behave once he is born (if he will be a mover and a shaker or calm and relaxed). Only time will tell...

Speaking of time, today is the end of week 29 if you can believe it! After this, only 10 weeks to go before we meet our handsome young love. This weekend, I am going to start decorating the nursery - just a few accent pieces here and there - nothing too intense. Our custom-ordered rocker arrives today! Once everything is set up in Baby Gennaro's haven, I will post pictures.

And speaking of pictures, here I am dutifully documenting my ever-growing belly. 

Week 29...getting big!

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Motherhood 101

Today's entry is written with a heavy heart. I vowed that I would dedicate this blog to the baby and my pregnancy but life and the outside world isn't put on hold for nine months while you are growing a baby. You don't suddenly find yourself in a bubble impervious to life's ups and downs while you're pregnant. Life, after all, continues...

Some of you may know that my dear grandma (Teta) has not been doing well since early summer. I've tried to exclude that sad reality from this blog as much as I can, but it's time to use this forum as an outlet for expressing how I feel and to make this blog a true journal of what I am experiencing these nine months. I cannot begin to tell you how painful it has been, watching her deteriorate; to see her regress from a fiercely independent, strong-willed, sharp-minded opinionated woman to someone who has fallen victim to dementia in a short amount of time, who has become extremely frail, immobile, and requiring 24/7 supervision and assistance with the basics of life, including getting out of bed, showering and going to the bathroom. At this point, she is under the care of Hospice -- a non-profit ministry that cares for the terminally ill. She still remembers who I am and smiles when she sees me, but she has difficulty formulating words and stringing together sentences. Our conversations (which used to equal 3-4 phone calls a day) have now been reduced to every other day. Primarily because I have a hard time trying to talk to her without crying. And as of three days ago, she can no longer really hold a lucid conversation. I try to visit as much as I can, but I am keeping a deliberate distance because I just can't emotionally handle seeing her in this condition. And I don't want to put myself in a position of constant anxiety and sadness because of the baby. My stepmom has admirably stepped in as the role of caregiver, and I will always be grateful for her sacrifices and help. God knows there is no way I could have cared for Teta myself (for one, I physically can't and also, I don't think I could have taken on the responsibility.) To say it is heartbreaking to watch her suffer in this way is a gross understatement. Words cannot begin to convey how shattered I feel inside -- that during this momentous, life-changing chapter, I don't have my Teta around as a guiding light; that instead, I am experiencing an extreme dichotomy: Tremendous loss and the tremendous gift of life at the same time.

Pic taken in 2009...on our way to our favorite destination: the mall
They say God works in mysterious ways. I can't help but wonder if my pregnancy was all part of a bigger plan - His plan - to help carry me through what would inevitably happen to my Teta and what would also be one of the most difficult and heartrending experiences I would ever face.  When I find myself in a bottomless pit of tears, I stop and think about the baby. I start feeling his kicks and punches inside and am immediately reminded to be strong for him. I don't want to compromise his health or the safety of my pregnancy, so I wipe my tears and start watching his movements through my belly; a blessed distraction and a reminder of how beautiful and cruel life can be all at the same time.

So here I am, 29 weeks along with 11 weeks to go and have already experienced my first true lesson in motherhood. When life hands you... [insert your own metaphor here], you must smile, be strong, raise your head and move forward for the sake of your child even when it seems like the world around you is collapsing. Baby Boy G is relying on me after all to keep him safe and sound today, tomorrow, these next 11 weeks and for the rest of my life.

Thanks for reading.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Look at That Face!

Our little boy is growing up! We went for our second 4D session on Saturday, September 10th (week 28/day one of third trimester!) At first he was cooperative, showing his face and even made a few facial expressions that only a proud mother would be so eager to share with others! But toward the end, he started covering his face and giving us his bee-hind. Perhaps it was his way of saying, "Ok this show is over."

So sweet...

Look at that grin!

"God they are so loud out there."


"All right, NOW I'm getting pissed."

Calm again

"Ok I'm getting sleepy..."

"Mom and Dad, you are SO embarrassing."

Whom do you think I look like more?

Hope you love the pics as much as we do! We will go back in about a month for our final 4D session. And then after that, it's the face to face meeting.

12 weeks to go...12 weeks to go...12 WEEKS TO GO! (And please Baby Boy G, don't check out of my uterine hotel before 12 weeks.)

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

What Happened to the Second Trimester?

Well friends and family, there are just a few days left in my second trimester. Saturday, September 10th marks week 28 AND the start of my third trimester if you can believe it. I sure can't. Seems like just yesterday I found out I was pregnant and morning sickness settled in. 

Here's a retrospective list of what I enjoyed most about this time:

1. Energy levels were restored and I gained an
extreme amount of motivation.

2. Formed an obvious pregnant belly so people didn't have to wonder if I was gaining weight from pizza or a baby...

3. ...But I was still small enough to get around comfortably (i.e., get in and out of the car, go to theme parks, spend hours at the mall) without difficulty.

4. NO vomiting!

5. Started tolerating Joe's cologne again. Sorry, honey, you just did not smell good to me for the first 3 months of pregnancy. :P

6. Felt distinct fetal movements! Questionable gas trappings turned into full-fledged fetal kicks and punches. I love watching my belly shift around and determining which body part is piercing through my abdominal wall.

7. Seeing Baby Boy G in 4D view with human features and a clear view of what he looks like.

The only downside of the second trimester is frequent urination. My bladder held up all right during the first trimester, but these days,! Just the other day we went to the movies, and I had to leave the theater twice to go to the bathroom. You really can't help it, especially if the baby is putting pressure over your bladder. But that's the only annoyance and I would take this any day over the attributes of the first trimester.

Let's see what this third and final leg of pregnancy have to offer other than the birth of our beautiful son.

Until my next post!

Week 27...looks like I have a basketball under there, doesn't it?

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes (and Back, Too)

I've been introduced to all the major body parts of my baby. I can tell when his head is piercing my abdominal wall, when his shoulder blade is slicing through my uterus and thanks to last night's latest belly contortion, I know EXACTLY when his back is facing out. It literally felt like a rock was pushing through my abdomen. I urged Joe to touch my belly and he jumped back, asking "WHOA! What the hell is that?" It's his back, honey. Nothing to be terrified of.

And while new body parts are felt every day, so too are the light flutters and mild twitches that have advanced to extensive squirming and very erratic movements. I am amazed at watching my belly these last few weeks. You would think staring at your belly is the entertainment equivalent of watching paint dry, but the truth is, when the baby is at his peak of shifting limbs or changing positions or "trying to get comfortable for the night", it is so incredible to watch. I love seeing the squirming and the punches (although at first it was a little unnerving.) The wave-like movements and the tiny belly protrusions are nothing short of miraculous. I mean, really, how often does someone feel these things? Next time I will record these movements and then upload the video so my faithful followers can share in the experience real-time style. Until then, I did snap this shot last night during some of his unexpected movements. Of course you can't see any of the actual belly punches but you can get a glimpse of what my view is like...

A view from above